I was born in 1972 into a Christian home. I grew up going to church every Sunday, and as my church had a private school, I went to a Christian school everyday. I was surrounded on all sides by Christians and Christianity.
And yet it held no appeal for me. I saw a lot of rules to live up to, and a lot of expectations that I had to fulfill to be acceptable to God and the church. I was constantly told that God loved me, but never really felt or saw that God loved me. In fact I never thought He was even interested in me. I saw Him as totally uninterested in me, except if I made any mistakes, and then He was there swiftly to chastise and punish me.
Once I got into my teens I began to question, as everyone does, exactly what I believed and why. And I came to not like this “God” I had heard so much about. Never did I get my prayers answered. Never once had I encountered Him in any way at all. And I felt that if He was so uninterested in me, then I was not interested in Him. And so I went my own way.
After years of running from God, sending my life in fruitless pursuits of drugs and alcohol, chasing women, and doing “whatever seemed right in my own eyes” I came to realize just how interested God actually was in me. And He wasn’t interested at all in my past. He was just interested in me.
In June of 1995, I personally encountered the living God Himself, as expressed in Jesus Christ. I encountered the love of God that was just for me. I came to know that if I had been the one nailing Him to the cross that He would still love me the same. And that He would have just as willingly died for me. I came to know and extravagant, unreserved, and unrestrained love that defies description. There are not words enough in all the languages of the world combined to begin to describe that love that I encountered on that day. In fact it was so great I couldn’t stop weeping for a week. And I was one who never cried. In fact I still am one who rarely cries, for any reason. But the love that God has for me can bring me to tears instantly.
I came to know a God personally, and with each day have come to know Him even more. I came to personally know the love that the bible talks about in John 3:16 “God so loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him may not be lost, but have eternal life.” I came to know and understand what eternal life really was. John 17:3 “And this is the real and eternal life: That they know you, The one and only true God, And Jesus Christ, whom you sent”. I came to know God personally, intimately, and daily. I can know His heart and He can know mine.
Since that day I have never been the same. The anger and rage I held within are forever gone. I have come to see myself as someone of value, because if God loves me that much, I must have value. I began to work in church helping in any way I could. I started working with young people helping them to see the love that God had for them, and for several years worked as a youth leader in a local church. For 18 years I served as a worship leader and ministered prophetically to local churches and in prayer ministry teams, as well as serving in a local church on the teach team. Currently I am the senior leader in a small group of house churches working to fulfill the mission Jesus left His church, and I continue to walk on this exciting adventure with Him learning more of Him each and every day, and learning more and more to walk with Him, and how to follow His lead as we go together “into all the world”